.:: i dun believe in forever ::.

2005-06-16T19:21:00.000+08:00

shifted..i'm packing my bag and leave this blogging ground..leaving this world...

2005-05-15T03:02:00.000+08:00

i have just fuck up my life and lost the people who are important to me..people who walk through different phases of my life with me for the past few years..sometimes i really wanna bang my head against the hard wall and wake myself up. i just dunno what am i doing anymore..he's driving me crazy..i lost my mind and all my senses. Why can't i just forget you and wipe u off my mind! why do u keep appearing! i feel like killing myself now. At least that way i dont have to live in agony everytime u come into my mind..i know u're happy now..looking so much happier than before. i should be happy for you right? but i can't stop thinking about the past. why..why...why..why did u cast a spell on me that i can't get rid of!! Because of you, i've been struggling to find myself again..been struggling to pick myself up and walk on..someone just kill me now or brainwash me..i dun wanna be reminded of the past anymore..i just wanna get rid of the pain inside me....i miss him

someone someone..0.0

2005-05-06T15:12:00.000+08:00

At this very minute~~

someone is thinking of you
someone cares about you.
someone misses you
someone wants to hold your hand.
someone wants you to be happy.
someone wants to hug you.
someone will do anything for you.
someone needs to know your love is unconditional.
someone wants to tell you how much they care.
someone wants to stay up watching movies with you.
someone wants to hold you in their arms.
someone wants to see you.
someone wants to be your lover.
someone loves you for who you are.
someone loves the way you make them feel.
someone wants to be with you.
someone wants you to know they are there for you.
someone is glad that you're their friend.
someone is wishing you would notice them.
someone wants to get to know you better.
someone loves you.

True? Believe? Sweet? HAHA! my ass..*pigu*

2005-04-03T21:48:00.000+08:00

screwed up..everything is screwed up...i have no mood to blog...lots of things have happened but i think i shouldn't say it here...probably not gonna blog here anymore and shift to a private blog...no comments no comments...im just utterly disappointed...oh well..i'm better off alone..keep in touch in msn peeps..

My new friends! Casino and Pooh Bear!

2005-02-20T17:32:00.000+08:00

okie since my last blog entry,i've been more than fine.some people dicks should be cut off into pieces. or maybe their necks ought to be snap. BAH .anyway..what happened recently? oo..i'm kinda sad that tristan has left,won't be working at subway anymore with us. i'm gonna miss him so badly. no one to push me around at work jokingly, no one to do stupid acts in front of me, no one to joke around with me. he's the closest colleague i have at work. he's always around to help me, making sure i can go home on time. ahhh..i miss him..work is not that fun without him anymore. luckily, there's still scott and alec and ben. i wonder what am i going to do if they leave too..i might as well not work. muhahaa..it's the people there that makes working so fun for everyone. and i'm officially off my P plate =D no more probation driver licence shit. wheee!

ok next next. i receive a valentine's day present from david on friday. hee..i'm actually pretty shocked he send something to me. i mean he said he's sending something but i didn't really believe him, until my mum pass me a card that day saying i got a registered mail at the post office. soooo, i went to the post office to retrieve the parcel. at first, i thought it will be a just a small box. but it turned out to be a Size 5 box. so big, it was so embarrassing carrying it to my car and there were like people walking around. i read the box and it was really david who sent it. went home, quickly go up to my room and opened it. in there, a big big winnie the pooh wrapped up in a plastic wrapping paper inside a big plastic bag.I was shocked at the size of it and also how he still remembers i like winnie the pooh. haaaaa...i was super happy. it's so nice to hug! muahaaha..i admit i'm really touched. over the last few months, we have been contacting each other and he did ask if i can be his girl. but i said it's been years since we were together. and we had some quarrels and i really sometimes don't believe the things u say. (a bit harsh i know) and i told him..the things u're telling me now are just words, and to me, actions speak louder than words. so he said "okay, i will use actions to prove to you.i will keep my promises and be committed to you." blahblahblah..he's been sms-ing me everyday..and calling me a few times a week etc etc..dunno la! but the thing he sent must have cost him quite a lot. the pooh bear was bought from disney and i think it costs around $ 50 - $60. and then he sent it through speed post as well. postage alone cost around $44, and he still have to buy the size 5 box. muahahaa..so total should be around $100 plus.hohoho~ den i told him, i haven't seen him for a long time too, maybe it doesn't seem right anymore. i'm just insecure about the whole thing. the next hour or so, he told me he bought a webcam and is on his way back. he said "lidat u can see me loh..den u won't feel insecure or anything that's making u doubt me" i'm touched laaaaa but i cannot fall for him first..advice from steph: "dun yi shen xiang xu pls charbor.." advice from zhang hui: : "play along with him first la..dun fall in love with him so fast." and another thing steph said : "eh..wa..buy u pooh bear..ask him for an air ticket back to singapore la.." i told her give me two months then i request for one. huahuaha...jokingggggggggg...=P

okieeee..i went to the casino reluctantly last night cos i'm having my period and i don't really wanna walk around too much. BUT i'm so happy i went. i was playing on the jackpot machine with my mum, one machine each la. i put in $50 at first, was playing playing playing..won $40 already very happy den i decided to double my bet so it's $2.50 each time i press the button. first game didn't get anything..second time..wa!!! winn!! see the credits keep going up ..wOOt! shocked !! from $50 to $502.35. i won $450!! wahaha..i was so stunned. turned around and i see people standing around me. it felt like a dream. haha..quickly retrieve my receipt thingy from the attendant and stopped playing on the machine. wahahah! den i gave my mum $100, and went to play on rapid roulette. lost $50! *cries* but nvm nvm..i still win $300! wahah..treat my mum supper after casino. went to city garden to eat. wahhh! the chilli and salt intestines are farking good. crunchy on the outside,soft on the inside. wOOt!! couldn't stop eating. wahhaa..thanks to my beloved mummy.she said she wanted to go casino but i say i dun wan, den she say she go alone. But i couldn't let her go alone due to her physical conditions. so i went along. muhaha..thanks mummy! i love youuuu hehehehe! okie i better be off. off to dye my hair den prepare to go out tonight. muhaha!

2005-02-05T13:03:00.000+08:00

I received a message on msn yesterday which really tore me apart.Nick's brother messaged me on msn and told me Nick passed away.I didn't wanna believe,I thought he was just kidding me. But i got worried.Nick passed away 4 days ago due to some sickness. He has had it for quite some time already but he never told me, he never told anyone. It's all so sudden. I just talked to him last friday and he insisted on leaving me,giving me stupid reasons and telling me he has his own reasons of doing this.So I respect his decision and let him go.I remember being very angry at him, I hung up on him and didn't want to talk to him anymore.But just a few days later,he's gone.G-O-N-E forever.I called his mobile several times but nobody answered or it was off. I can't make a trip down to malaysia now either.I will never get to hear his voice again,never get to hear him sing to me again.Why didn't he just tell me he's sick that night? Why did he have to give me so many stupid reasons? Why didn't i realise that he has been sick for so long? Why did i hang up on him? I kept calling and wished he would just answer his phone,telling me that he's playing a prank on me.He used to make me panic and worry for him,just for the fun of it.But now i wish he really is playing.I dunno what to say.It all just happened so suddenly.All the webcam memories and conversations we had all juz came flowing back,I kept listening to the songs we shared,fighting back my tears trying to smile and live normally cos I know he wouldn't want me to be sad for him.I must be strong,I cannot cry.But i miss him dearly...he was my best friend,my good friend.He taught me how to be understanding girlfriend to guys and taught me how to compromise in a relationship.But why did he have to go? He was such a talented young man,he was a chinese doctor who has always put his work first before everything.He's always thinking of ways to build a better life in future for himself.He even thought of going to UK in future years when his business is stable.And he's suppose to come and visit me in 3 months time.He still got so many things he hasn't done yet,how can he just leave like that..I will always remember him,always have him in my heart and i wish i can tell him "I love you" now...miss you Nick..I will be strong..May You Rest In Peace. You will always be remembered by everyone.

Remember Me This Way Lyrics from Jordan Hill

Every now and then
We find a special friend
who never lets us down...

Who understands it all
reaches out each time we fall
you're the best friend i have found...

I know you can't stay
a part of you will never ever go away
your heart will stay.....

I'll make a wish for you,
and hope it will come true,
if life will just be kind,
to such a gentle mind,
if you lose your way,
think back on yesturday
remember me this way,
remember me this way.

I don't need eyes to see
the love you bring to me,
no matter where I go
and I know that you'll be there
forever-more a part of me and everywhere
I'll always care.....

I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true,
if life will just be kind,
to such a gentle mind,
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way,
remember me this way.

and I'll be right behind your shoulder,watching you
I'll be standing by your side, all you do
and I won't ever leave
as long as you believe,
you just believe....

I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true
if life will just be kind
to such a gentle mind
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way
remember me this way.
o.....
this way.

Hello Canning College again..

2005-01-28T22:47:00.000+08:00

Saw in the herald newspaper the other day that North Lake Senior Campus is offering Human Biology night class,so i decided to take some night class to help out my Human Biology unit in university.Afterall, i needed some background or foundation of Human Biology so i won't be struggling too much in university this year since it's my weakest subject.I had an appointment with one of the student advisor yesterday morning. Had a chat with him and he said what i really need probably is the Year 11 Human Biology which they only offer during day time which also means i won't be able to make it cos i got uni to go to.Then he recommend me to Tuart College or Canning College.Yes! Canning College my old school,miss that school heaps! I came home and called up Canning and asked and i got a positive answer,they do offer Year 11 Human Biology during night class,so i made an appointment with them and was so happy.I GOT HOPE!! UNTIL...i went there today and they told me it was cancelled due to the lack of students, only 4 people signed up and they needed 12 to run the program.Hopes shattered.heehee..but she was nice,she called up Tuart College and asked but they don't, they only run Physical Science which i don't need to learn about. BAH i thought to myself. But she sent me to go talk to the Human Biology teachers at Canning College.They advised me to take the Year 12 Human Biology cos it will still benefit me in some way.And she also mentioned if i have problems at University, i can always go to them or the learning centre where there are always teachers on duty to help students out.Good Point! so i signed up and the lesson starts this wednesday.It runs once a week, every Wednesday from 6pm - 10pm. 4 long hours man..sheeesh! Met a few of my ex-teachers when i was doing Year 12 at Canning College. They all still recognise me,wahaha..kinda embarrassing in a way.They all thought i failed my TEE and came back for more. LOL! I saw Keith Peterson, my Chemistry teacher, when i walked in the door and he waved at me. I went red. Then i walked further in and saw Bill Purcell ( A.Maths) and David Mahar (Chemistry) and Maria (Calculus). I was even more embarrassed. David Mahar asked me what am i doing here,explained to him blahblahblah and i had to explain the same thing to Bill as well. Then! I saw my Economics teacher (Loretta Mcwhae),she was the one who spotted me and waved to me.She kinda talked to me from quite a distance. She started off with " YOU'RE BACK! ECONOMICS??!?" then i was like " Noooo..i'm already in university" She gave me a weird look and ask "What are you doing here then!?" so i had to repeat everything again to her. lolx. I had a chat with her and thanked her for helping me out so much in Year 12. I improved from a results of 35% (D) the year before to a result of 76% (A). It was all of her wonderful teaching. So i kept saying thank you to her and told her my results.She was really happy for me. I miss those teachers man. heehee! so yeah, and another good thing about studying at Canning College would be getting a Canning College Parking Ticket. I get to park at Canning College and walk to Curtin.Mauahaha! No more looking for parking lots at Curtin. But then again, i would have to walk a huge distance to my block. Oh well. heehee! I have officially quit smoking! have been off cigarettes for the past two weeks. heehee..i mean i quit smoking but i will still smoke like 1 or 2 sticks in a while if i'm with friends.No more smoking a whole packet. =D..good job eunice been having problems with Nick recently. Hope we can sort things out soon and get the sadness out of my head. Can't stop thinking about it. Oh well..i'm off to sms him now. See u guys. I suddenly got an urge to walk into a 7-11 store and hear the "Ding Dong" sound. Hope i can save enough money to go back singapore soon. I miss my Bird jie and my other sisters, and my friends here and there. Ah! Can't wait to hug u guys. Ok.I better be off now.

Happy New Year peeps!!

2005-01-15T19:19:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!! wooo! been so so so so so sooooo long since i update my blog..okay..this will be the first blog entry of the new year..aiyah..i noe 15th le..but still new la..sui bian laaaaaaa!...anyway..i wanted to blog long long ago..but i'm just too lazy to type and type and type...until todayyyy..i told myself i have to blog before my frenz start to worry about me after reading my last post..thanks to u guys who asked if i'm alright after reading that blog entry..yes i'm alright now..im perrrrfectly fineee!..soo..what have i been up to eh?...let's see..other than working and working and watching videos and movies..and studying a little..there's pretty much nothing else..i'm so into movies recently..and i finally found a movie buddy! suey!! we have so many movies that we wanna watch but we couldn't find anyone to accompany us to the movies..now we got each other..*wink*wink* sueyy!.i've been borrowing videos from the video store as well..so far i watched "Drumline" which is superbly superb..and then i watched "Love Actually" and "Along Came Polly" again..and i realised Singapore censored one of the couples in "Love Actually"..a couple who acts in porn movies..=D..boring anyway..just showed them having sex..i mean..they didn't even had sex..so it didn't make much difference to me..hmmm..not that if they really had sex would make a difference to me..but..ermm..aiyaaaaaa...that couple was EXTRA!..so even though they got censored,the movie was still as good as if they weren't censored..okay..i'm confusing myself..i'm not making sense..CONCLUSION: NO DIFFERENCE! SEX OR NO SEX! NAKED OR NOT NAKED!!..=D..continue..den i watched "The Day After Tomorrow" again too..still so good..love it..=D..den i went to the movies to watch "Raise Your Voice" with suey and Ivy last saturday..i crieddd...so sad..nice movie la..not bad..and then i went to watch "Finding Neverland" with them again on Tuesday..that show boring but not bad..quite nice..next movie i wanna watch should be "Ladder 49"..dunno if suey wanna go or not..but we definitely gonna watch "Alfie"..=DD..

went to the Physio Therapist that day to check my ankle cos it has been hurting for the past few months..he checked and said i had damaged the posterior tenderlis in my feet..i dunno how to spell..and he said they have to tape or bandage or cast my feet up so i can walk flat feet instead of on the side of my feet..bahh..that means i can't work for the time being..and he doesn't allow me to walk too much as well..and i can only wear flat sole shoes or slippers or thongs..booooo..no work no moneyyy..fuK!...tsk tsk..blame myself for not going to the doctor when i hurt my ankle while walking when i was back in singapore..thought it was nothing till i sprained it another two times at work the past month and now i damaged it..-.-" pui!..

steph is backkk from singapore!! would most probaby be meeting her later..but still dunno where are we going..pfft..but i miss that si charbor..glad that she's back..woot! *waves*..jason's at indonesia now helping out the tsunami relief..asked him how's the situation now at arche..he told me "not enough water to drink,3 days bathe one time..not enough sleep" damn..hope he take good good care of himself there..i'm so proud of him..10 stars awarded to that friend of mine...i messaged him initially is to ask if he can do my mum a favour which is to send 30 chinese new year cards over by chinese new year..den i realised that he's not in singapore now..but in the end he told me no problem..den i asked how..cos he's not gonna be back till like 2 weeks later..he told me he got his way. heehee..thanks jason..u're great..okay i better be off to prepare to go out with that si charbor..bye ppl!!!!!

Date Rape

2004-12-20T02:18:00.000+08:00

["I was really scared for a while and didn't believe what he was trying to do. That probably gave him an advantage because I was so slow to react to what was happening, and when it was happening I couldn't do anything to stop it. I remember thinking that he couldn't be THAT strong but I couldn't do anything to stop him. I kept thinking that this is not how I want to lose my virginity. All the time when I was trying to get him off me, I kept saying to myself that this can't happen because it is not supposed to happen."]

[it was years before she told anyone about her date rape. Years during which she had major self-confidence issues and problems with her relationships. "I think the biggest mistake I made was in not talking about it with someone as soon as it happened," said May (a pseudonym) in an email interview. "I was extremely ashamed of myself and I was sure no one would take me seriously especially since I was at his house when it happened.]

[All sorts of weird thoughts were in my head for days after the incident and then I finally decided that I wasn't going to do anything about it. So I tried to put it behind me and live a normal life as much as I could. But it never ever felt normal again. For years I had lots of problems with boyfriends. I had a lot of issues with my self-confidence and always found it easy to blame myself for things that went wrong in relationships. I even stuck it out with a boyfriend who was very possessive and verbally abusive because I felt like I owed it to myself to make it right and not have another failure."]

all these quotes says it all...when i read the article..i could totally understand and feel for her..tears welled up in my eyes.As they say,only the people who experienced the same sort of things would understand.it's been a year plus and i still can't get it off my mind.At times, i would just sit somewhere silently,thinking back on what happened.maybe i deserved all those things that had happened to me..maybe this is my lifetime punishment for doing something wrong my past life...nightmares that will haunt me forever..why was i so stupid and naive back then...

past few days...

2004-12-18T09:24:00.000+08:00

i'm typing this with a bad stomachache now..seems like i need to go poo poo...gonna finish this blog fast..but then i juz started..hmm..to go or not to go....ok the urge is gone..anyway..i had a funny encounter while driving on the freeway to work on thursday afternoon. i had never experience anything like that before..ok..what happened was..i was driving on the center lane, and this car from "Atrium Homes" was driving on my left.I speed up cos i was running late to work..so i think i speed up when he wanted to overtake me..and then suddenly his car appear next to me again..i turn over..and he turned around..so i quickly turned back thinking he's gonna give me the middle finger now for not letting him overtake. then i turned around again and he turned too..this time he waved and smiled at me. so of course i had to smile back right..so i smiled back..and decided to drive on..so he was a little distance behind me..den he speed up beside my car..i turned and he was smiling at me..i smiled back..then he change lanes and end up driving on my right. he didn't speed up or anything hey..he kept driving beside me..everytime i speed up..he speeds up too. -.-" and we kept smiling and laughing..so we practically look like two idiots smiling and laughing at ourselves in our cars. this went on and on till we had to go on separate ways..lolx..it was cool..thank god he's not a lao ah pek..in fact he looks quite cute..hohoho..it was actually quite fun..let's hope i meet him again next week while driving to work..it actually made my day..lolx..ok..slap me..i am mad..

went to work super early yesterday morning..cos i was working morning shift.everything had to be done fast so that it can be ready by lunch time right..so when i was panning the bread i accidentally hit the bread tray on the little tray with all the workers' cups. fuck! one dropped..i was so scared it was someone's cup. i turned the cup around while hoping it has no name on it..and i saw the name "SCOTT". i was like "farkkkk....what am i going to do.." so i picked the broken handle up and put the cup back..amazingly the cup is still intact..except the handle la..i was feeling so guilty..i told scott when he came to work and he was so shocked..lolx..but he said it was alright..he dropped it a few times hoping it will break..but it didn't so he's glad someone is doing it for him now so he can change a cup..lolx..BUT he kept saying i broke his cup on purpose to hurt him..lolx..hohoho~...i offered to buy a cup back for him and he rejected. =(..he say he got heaps at home..okay then...

it's saturday and i have to go to work today...doing closing with ben..gonna get my pay soon next week..but i think 3 quarters of my pay is gonna go to my mum to help her with paying the rent next week..booboo..actually sometimes i feel happy that she borrows money from me..cos it stops me from spending money, which means the money she borrows from me is my savings. yea...den by the end of next year hopefully i'll be able to go back..heeee! it was my mum's birthday yesterday..brought the whole family out for dinner for japanese cuisine..my mum's favourite food..we ate soooo much..tempura,sushi,sashimi and also our own set meals..lolx.we were all so full.oh well,as long as everyone's happy..i'm happy too..heee..my dad decided not to come back australia anymore..blah..wonderfully telling my mum the day before her birthday..-.-" i dunno what does he mean by that..gonna stay in singapore to find work or just doesn't wanna come back to this family..whatever it is..i know i have to take more care of my mum now..hur..blahhhh..okay my mum's awake..go make breakfast..see u guys!! *smoochies* OH..and i have successfully enrolled into the course "Food Science and Technology"..can't wait to start school and start a brand new life! bye ppl!

2004-12-09T18:24:00.000+08:00

bad mood...dun feel like smiling,dun feel like talking,dun feel like doing anything..and the weather is pissing me off..farking hot..38 degrees today..turned the aircon on in my car to maximum and it still didn't helped..grr..i hate summer..went to work today..so tired now..still can't get my mind off things..haizzzz..got work tomorrow again..morning shift..gotta wake up at like 5am..and then i got work on saturday..blah..12pm - 4pm...really dread even stepping out of the house during summer...haiz..life is so boring recently..all my friends back in singapore or somewhere else on the globe..my life is just eat,sleep,work and gb gb gb..so blardee boring..someone go out walk walk with meeeeeeeeeeee..im so bored..haiz...might consider visiting the beach tomorrow night to take my mind off things...it's still the place i will always go to when i'm down..sound of the waves...looking into the beautiful big big sea..will go only if the weather cools down..haizzzzzzz....i dun wan to think of u..i dun wan dun wan dun wan..I DUN WAN...

talked to bennie last night..of cos i'm glad to be talking to him again..but i guess i not really in the mood..i noe he cared..i noe he trying his best to cheer me up..i noe he trying to help me get over all these stupid sadness as soon as possible..but i still can't..each time i try..i end up coming back to the same spot..same place..and i have to keep trying and trying..which i dun wan and sick of trying the past 6 months..i need someone to talk to badly now..someone who can understand how i really feel inside now...but i dunno who to talk to..or even where to start..i can't talk to people who is not going through the same things as me..cos they never will understand..no it's not just the failure of the relationship..it's about everything that is happening and it's tormenting me..can someone walk with me or lend me a shoulder to cry on?...haiz..everything is inside my head..my heart..my mind..it's tearing me apart...

i wanna forget u and everything...

2004-12-08T10:38:00.000+08:00

the clock on my mobile phone strike 12am..and the alarm started ringing..looked into the screen and it say "Happy 1st Year Anniversary with Bryan dear.08/12/2004" forgot to delete....time flies..it's been a year already...i can still remember vividly what happen a year ago..and things are so different now..from lovers to just friends and to strangers.we don't talk anymore..don't even contact each other anymore..how did i feel when i read the alarm..sad..and the memories all started rushing back at me..i just wanna forget and move on..it's been 6 months since we broke up..why am i still holding on..what am i waiting for?..he has already moved on and is blissfully attached to another girl now. i tried moving on with ivan..but things didn't work out...i really just wanna forget everything and stop thinking about him.why is it that everytime i'm on my way to forgetting...something has to happen and remind me of him again..arghz..i need a brainwash..haiz..

10:45am le..gotta go to work soon..hope i will be able to concentrate and not let this sadness affect me too much..dennis going to KL today..i think reach there already..anyway..hope he has heaps of fun and take great great care.i better go prepare now..and maybe blog another day when i feel like it..thanks people for coming back to my blogsite now and then to read..muackz..love u all..

australian idol finals

2004-11-22T02:44:00.000+08:00

hoho! the weather's so bloody hot today...and it's not funny whoever is laughing at me now..grr..and it's not even summer yet..my god..i dread summers the most..the sweat,the sun so hot it burns your skin...for those who are going back this week..U LUCKY PEOPLE!! grr!! was so frustrated the whole day..stupid weather makes my temper so bad...grr..went to lynette's house in the evening to watch australian idol finals..it was cool! casey won!! i love her! a girl with great talent and voice at an age of only 16. she hell deserved it..congrats to you casey!! (as if she will see this)..anyway..anthony was good too..but no matter what he's gonna get a contract anyway..so it doesn't matter if he wins it or not..lolz..i felt so happy for casey i nearly cried...lolz..she's the best..wooooot! den i went over to doris's house for a while..and then came home..bathed...went online..and im stuck in gunbound again..can't believe i'm still so into that game after almost a year..geez!...

i've been checking my email so bloody frequent nowadays..hoping to receive an email from the lecturer about my enrolment for next year's course.Did i mention that i got accepted into the course "Food Science and Technology" ?..but i only opened that email one week after she sent it. GEEZ!! and i was supposed to go fill in my enrolment form by that week..grr..hope i can still can get in man..or i just have to hope that the other course offers me a place..lol..got work tomorrow..blahh..so sick of working every single day..need a break and that is why i took off on friday..think uncle isn't very happy about it..BUT OH WELL!!...i wanna sleep now..goodnight people! oyasumi nasai!~..and for my dear friends who are leaving (stephanie,doris,ivy,sam,felicia,lynette,jane who has already left and jac)..HAVE A GREAT TIME BACK HOME!!! AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES!! KEEP IN TOUCH BABES! *muackz*

steamboat-tieeeeeeeeee

2004-11-21T04:28:00.000+08:00

woo..i'm finally back to blogging..after fel asked why i haven't been blogging for so long..muhahha..okok..i should blog a bit..just a bit.cos it's 430am now..yawns..sleepy man..SO! went to lynette's house in the evening for steamboat..woot..it's always funnnn! so full..i think i got full cos of lynette...who poured me two big cups of juice.drink until i wanna puke.thanks lynette..we were talking while waiting for fel to finish baking her wonderful chocolate cake..and decided to watch the Australian Idol Finals tomorrow at lynette's house..so i'll be seeing them again tomorrow..and Lynette mention something about finishing the other carton of juice tomorrow..tmd..den i went to meet sam for coffee..yes..more liquid into my body..had to go and pee in the mid of our conversation..lolz..*Sigh* he's leaving on tuesday and never coming back anymore...i feel sad...and i really wanted to give him a hug just now when i dropped him home..it's like losing a friend...although there were times last year that i really didn't like him..but we had so much in common and so much to talk about..conversations are always full of laughter..*sigh* gonna miss that dear friend of mine man...oh well..i'm going to sleep now..was talking to my bird jie from 3am and still talking now...and omg..australia skies are so bright during summer time...the sun rises before 5am..now i will have trouble getting to sleep..oh farking hell..

lost for words

2004-10-19T20:39:00.001+08:00

so many things had happened since the last entry..and they are all sooooo un-blog-able..im just confused..sick..and tired of everything..so i need a break..and i'm not gonna be blogging for a while..till then..take care my each and every one of u,my friends..and hope i'll be able to come back and blog again soon..=)..i just feels that no point in telling anyone how i feel or what is happening..cos no matter how they comfort u..it's just different and it's no use..cos they ain't going through it with you..but i really appreciate everyone's care and concern..love u guys heaps..take care..and bb!

another long entry..lols

2004-09-24T15:24:00.000+08:00

wOooo! finally i got time to blog..been freaking tired the past 2 weeks...work at Subway almost everyday..luckily i got today off..but i'm too used to waking up early! i could have woke up at like 2 or 3pm..but i here i am..waking up at 10+ am and i can't go back to sleep anymore..sheesh..when i just started work last week..my feet were so sore..lol..but it's better this week...kinda used to it already..heh..good exercise u know! everything has to be fast-paced so u have to rush here and there..to and fro from the fridge to get stuff or bread..lol..business is good!! But i guess working can really distract me from thinking about other things. I finally pluck up my courage last week to ask Bryan what i have been wanting to ask since we broke up 4 months ago. That is, if he would like to give the both of us another try,cos i personally think that it was a waste the relationship just ended like that.We were so in love,others thought we really suited each other.Bird jie and my younger sister asked why didn't i ask Bryan for a second chance since i still like him..i told them that i'm scared i would get rejected and it would really hurt again. And my sister said to me "If u fear rejection,u will never know the answer.." so i was like.."hmmm..true.." she's so matured. geez! so i saw him online the other day and pop the question to him,and he kept quiet. The silence was obvious. So i told him "it's okay..i get what u mean..." and he said "sorry..". Of course i was disappointed and felt hurt that the feelings i had were just a one way traffic..shows that he has already forgotten me..there will never be another chance to be together in future...never ever..be it 3 or 10 years down the road...the love story will never happen again...but i'm glad i asked..at least i won't live life regretting that i never asked. Seems like it's a time for me to give up...*sigh*

Anyway..moving on...working is quite fun..especially on monday..when Tristan,Alec,Scott and Enny were around. It was full of laughter man. They're so funny.I'm happy i can actually get along with all of them..cool shit. I'm still under training for serving customers at the counter. I'm a Subway Sandwich Artist! woo.sound so pro..lol..but anyone working at the counter making sandwiches can be called that..lol..first day when i was serving at the counter,i made a couple of mistakes...this guy wanted a Chicken Pizziola and i dunno what the fuck was i doing..lol..no wonder he gave me a weird look..mUAHAHAHAA! and this lady she didnt wan salt and pepper and i still put it..I KILLED IT!!! geez eunice..u idiot!..but uncle willie was like.."it's okay,u just started only..soon u will get used to it." so nice..lol..i got good boss and lady boss and i love making the sandwiches..looks like i'm gonna stay in this job for a while. Yesterday, Uncle and Auntie told me that i am already accepted working there, it's only up to my job offer in the city juice store. If they give me Full-Time, den Subway will let me go. If not, they will put me in. Cool! Congratulations Eunice! Auntie bought a cake for Alec yesterday cos it's his birthday today,so we sang Happy Birthday song in the kitchen..and shared the cake..yummy..rich chocolate cake from Miss Maud next door. muhaha! working again next Monday to Thursday,and Friday will be off to Alan's house to clean up. hohoho!...

Went night shopping with my mum and sis last night,we went Southlands Shopping Mall. Bought a new pair of jeans and top,my sis bought a set of trackies, more dangling earrings which only cost $2.50 each. So cheap can..! and what else, oh i bought a small thermoflask for myself too! so when i go school or studying i can bring hot coffee or hot chocolate or hot tea or hot milo! hot hot hot! called up Curtin just now to double check when's the dateline to submit my forms of application, and she said Mid-November if i'm not submitting through TISC. sheesh..and my brother made me panic for a while,telling me it's next thursday..but i think i should get it done as soon as possible. hur..my dad went back to Singapore on Tuesday to settle some very urgent stuff. It's quite hurting to see my dad end up in such a situation, it must have been scary. *sigh* but i was so touched when i found out the reason why he didn't let my brother go back with him. He still cares afterall. I dunno when is my dad coming back or is he even coming back or not..i got no idea...*sigh* things are getting bad again...mum's sickness has came back...feeling giddy suddenly and it's so serious this time, her head actually moves in circles when she's giddy..spinning..the neurologist say it's something to do with the brain so he asked my mum to go for a brain scan,but that can only be done next month. I'm so worried..will it be a tumour or anything serious? I'm so scared..haiz...i think i better sign off now..the blog is so long..see u guys...i just wanna be alone for awhile,not ignoring or anything,please don't misunderstand....=)

Happy Birthday to me...^^

2004-09-13T13:47:00.000+08:00

whee! i'm officially 19 and 2 days old..heehee! let me blog on wad happen on my buRp-dAy.

went down to Lynette's house around 11am..they cooked! THANKS to Jane's pasta and An ni's fried bee hoon, and i'm so touched that my dear girl,Felicia baked the cake and even bought the matching candles..so touched so touched. it tasted really good...THANKS to Jane,Lynette,Jacqueline,Felicia,An ni,Joyce for the celebration and the presents. Cute little bunny bear toy,cake,flower,the chocolates and notes. muack..kiss for u guys!

Then, i went home to pick my mum up so she can lead me the way to West Perth for my interview at Subway.It went alright.The person say he will call me again to go down for training,and he did. He called me like 15 minutes ago asking me to go down for training tomorrow,wednesday,thursday and next monday.Training will be for 5 hours,from 10:30am to 3:30pm,and i will be trained by the staff members there. Hope i can get along with them. The shop is in the CBD area so i guess i have to go down early tomorrow to find parking. unless i can find someone to drop me off and pick me up. blahblah. working there means no more dangling earring,no bracelets,no rings,tying up of hair...eeww..lol.During training,i would be given half pay..dun worry. it's not $3/hour this time.it's $5/hour,while after training i would be given the introductory rate pay which is $10/hour.After 3 months, then i would be given the full pay of around $12. cool shit. just hope i can cope working there, considering the pace they do their sandwiches. i'm so bloody nervous now man..fuk. anyway...pray that i can cope and i'll be able to stay in this job alright? *fingers crossed*

went grocery shopping after that with my dearest mummy,came home and then prepared myself to go out with my usual bunch of girls.THANKS to Doris for your hand-made yummilicious famous amos taste-a-like cookies. so touched you made them..yummy! and was the cake made too? Anyway, THANKS GUYS! THANKS to Debbie
for the super-hard-and-stress-to-open or what u call,spiderman wrapping present.THANKS for te photo frame and the pretty butterfly dangling earrings.THANKS to Stephanie,Ivy,Doris,Suey,Sheila,Ariel,Debbie for the cute white handbag and $15 u guys gave me and also for making time to celebrate my birthday with me though it was a bit not organized.Sorry.^^.THANKS!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!We went Sizzler to have dinner.Woah man,we were all so full and bloated.I had salads,a steak,3 cups of soup, a bowl of ice cream..and something else.cool! had so much laughter too.it was fun,it's been quite some time since we last have dinner together. Then,we went to pick Ivy up and after a lot of consideration and hesitation, we decided to head to Burswood Casino to try our luck. I took out $10 to change into chips and went to play on the Heads/Tails and won $10 at first.BUT i wanted MORE! In the end,i lost the $10 i won.zzzzzz! then i lost the $10 on Blackjack...Still not happy,i went to change another $10. Thanks to Ivy's luck, i won $20 that night,which covers the money i spent at Sizzler. woot!

and also THANKS to my sister who went to buy a present for me.it's super cute.you know how when someone just give birth, people would buy toys that says "It's A Girl/Boy!" she bought this really soft ball for me that says "It's a Girl" and when u unzip it,this "me-to-you" bear sits inside and pop out, and that acted as a present from my whole family.and also THANKS to Bryan,Joe,Siew teng,Suey,San San,Darren,Ariel for the birthday wishes sent by sms. THANKS to Buddy Jiaming,Joycelyn,darling Kaimin,and good friend,Hippo for the birthday wishes sent in friendster. *kiss* heehee! AND lastly, THANKS to VON for calling me all the way from singapore to perth to say Happy birthday to me at 11pm.Lolz! Cheer up and don't think so much ok? *hugs*

We took photos but my camera decided to run out of battery..so i'm waiting for the photos took by Lynette's digital camera.^^. damn man..i accidentally hit my head really hard on steph's car that night when i was getting into her car and it still hurts now hey..sheesh....brain damage? grr..went out with Sam and Iema to Fast Eddy's yesterday for coffee and lunch.it went alright,quite funny actually.THANKS to Sam for the Fish'n'Chips and Strawberry Milkshake he treated me as a birthday present..hurhur! we talked about school..come to think of it, i really enjoyed school last year,i was actually looking forward to going to school everyday to meet the bunch of friends,even sam and iema miss those days. especially economics classes where we were allowed to go for 5-minute walkies. we would go in one big group and stand together at a place to smoke and laughed. And we fully stink when we go back to class hey.whenever the teacher ask,we would always sabo Sam,saying it's him who is smoking. but it was okay,we were allowed to smoke in school's compound anyway..lolz..it was good..it was fun..and i also miss those days we would squeeze like 5-6 people in my small car to go Karawara for lunch during lunch time and end up going into class like 15-20 minutes late,and also those days where we didn't feel like going to class,end up going to Carousel arcade or watch movie,or up to city to eat Dim Sum..huahauhua! i miss those days though i was pretty annoyed at a few of them at a point of time..heehee! oh well..today's entry is too long..i think i better go now..see ya...

Happy 18th Birthday Felicia!!

2004-09-05T23:57:00.000+08:00

woo..firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELICIA!! *huggies* celebrated felicia's birthday at lynette's house this afternoon..took quite a lot of photos..can be view here! woot..it was just a simple and small birthday party for her.hope she enjoyed it..i'll be going over next saturday again cos they wanna celebrate my birthday with me in the afternoon..at night it might be clubbing or nothing..hur..dunno dunno dunno..dun feel like doing anything..dum di dum..it's father's day today..didn't do much..just a normal day..didn't celebrate either..don't have the money..but we bought this little gift for my dad.the problem is..since young, the 3 of us has never been close to my dad before..so the difference between mother's day and father's day is huge..we would make the effort to make mother's day a joyful one..but we always don't do the same thing on father's day..yeah..it's weird..sometimes feel that my dad will be disappointed but..ermm..i dunno man!..auntie cindy gave me a number to call that day if i want a job at Subway..i've been trying to contact the auntie and uncle since friday and i still can't get them! grr i wan to work work work work! i wan money money money!! heehee! anyway..alvin sent me DJ Tiesto's newest album last night...wOot! it fucking rocks man! Tiesto MY MAN!! wooo!! he rocks he rocks he rocks! wooo! i wanna meet him!! come on come on come on! thanks thanks alvin!! woOOo!!..i got to go play gunbound with him now..and and and I HATE THE SHALLOW PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD..FARK U ALL!! GRRR! so disappointed..haiz..

me food scientist me!!! me me me!

2004-08-31T12:15:00.000+08:00

ok..my future is decided! i just filled in the application form for the course. decided to do "Food Science and Technology". yeap! i'm back to courses that deals with health, since my interest is there..why should i give up on it just cos of one unit..HUMAN BIOLOGY!! =PpPp! i thought it through..nothing is impossible..when i was in primary school...i thought i hate science..but still i made it through..in year 12 i thought calculus and economics were hard..i thought they were too hard to study.In the end, i failed...but when i had a second chance at them both last year,through hard work..and trying to make friends with those two subjects..i managed to do it and got an "A" the second time. so i guess the same thing goes with Human Biology. if i can do it in the past..i know i can do it again..nothing is too hard to be done..i guess i was too distracted from my studies the last semester by games and the internet. hehehe! and also i fell sick..which makes things even worst which also resulted in STRESS. SO THIS TIME! EUNICE IS GONNA MAKE IT, ALRIGHT? hey sho hey sho! jia you jia you! woot! i'm gonna start studying Human Biology these few months before starting school next year in march..i'm gonna be good friends with all the sick stuff in the textbook..i'm gonna try to remember their names and what are they there for..muhaha.and i'm gonna be a food scientist in future!! alright!! whooo!! ok shut up eunice. went out to Fast Eddy's with the girls last night to have coffee...but we ended up having soup which tasted like pasta sauce..-.-" geez! it was meant to be minestrone soup by the way..POO! i'll be meeting them at Curtin later to study..yes..S-T-U-D-Y! wahaha..so i'll be cooking fried rice and leave it in the rice cooker so the rest of my family can have it for dinner. lalala! i'm in such a high spirit. i dunno why..oh did i mention me reversing into a car the other night? BWAHAHA! erm..yeah..i was on my way out of the garage..wanting to go pick my sis up from her friend's house. i reversed and i didn't see if any car was parked on the opposite side of the road..(usually only stupid ppl will park there) anyway..i reversed and i was changing CDs on my CD Player..and i heard "BOM" wahahaha! i was like.."HUH? did i run over something?" i looked to the back and this red "Hyundai Excel" was behind..jajaja! quickly drove off..but thinking in my head if i made any dents on the other car or my car...i really can't wait to get home to see if my car is okay....hehe..andddddd IT'S FINE! wahaha..strong hyundai cars..lol..it wasn't even scratched..huahuahua! lucky mememememe! anyway..suddenly stomach pain..i'm off now..blog maybe later? jajaja! see u guys!! muackz!! i'm a future food scientist! wheee! mememememe!!

steamboat steamboat!

2004-08-28T01:33:00.000+08:00

i'm blogging this while playing gunbound...heehee...multi-tasking..so the meet up with the girls went alright..miss them so much..went for lunch at the food court..had Oyako Don..tasted quite okay..den we walked around..and planned a few upcoming events. hehe..firstly,we meeting up at Lynette's house for Felicia's birthday next sunday...and then we meeting up again on the 10th for mooncake festival..and spend the night together till the clock strikes 12am for my birthday..haha..kewl..promised them that i will make sesame balls for them..steph u wan some? give some to ur boyfriend wan? must tell me in advanced ah..den i make more..hmm...don't think i'll be planning anything for my birthday this year..mum asked me today what i wanna do on my birthday..i say i just wanna stay home and sleep..she asked if i wanted a steamboat like what we're doing for my brother's birthday next thursday..hee..maybe! since i like steamboat so much...sorry girls..i dun feel like clubbing on my birthday this year...no mood..aiya..see first la..iema sms-ed me the other day,inviting me to her birthday party bbq at mill point this sunday..cool...i'll be meeting my friends from last year..lols..haven't seen them for quite a while..muhahaha..it will be W-E-I-R-D...i've been feeling really frustrated recently..i dunno why..feel like people around me are not real..like they're out to get me,to put me down..i just can't trust people anymore...have been crying a lot the past two days..sigh..what is wrong with me man...grrr...someone help me..!!

i'm bored....

2004-08-25T01:58:00.000+08:00

okay..i was meant to start blogging like an hour ago but i got hooked up on a conversation with melisa..lolz..haven't talk to her for ages...anyway..we were engaged in very interesting topics..about sluts and bitches..hohoho!..i kept laughing..lol..went clubbing on saturday...wanted to go Metros and Church..but last minute decision, doris,steph,ariel and i decided to hop to Church first,leaving Debbie,Sheila and Suey at Metros..lol..stoned in there for a few hours before going to the dance floor...sheesh..Church is seriously losing customers...the place wasn't even full that day,compared to the other times we went...i think cos they changed the DJ...music is C-R-A-P. went for supper at City Garden before heading home. meeting my dear girls for lunch @ Carousel tomorrow! Lynette,Jacqueline and Felicia! wheee!! i haven't seen them since the last time we went for a movie..which is way back in june! whee! after that,i have to come home to cook an early dinner cos i gotta go over to my auntie's house to babysit my cousins and this other kid..wheee...wonder if i will get paid this time..heh! last time she gave me $20 each time i go over to babysit..wahaha! ok shush..gotta wake up early tomorrow to cook potato and gravy! woot! so my sis got something to eat when she comes home from school and also when my brother wakes up. getting more vcds tomorrow from lynette! "Westside Story" and "100% Senorita". wheee! kinda getting bored of Gunbound..heehee..yes..finally!! after being addicted to it for the past 8 months! sheesh...it's my brother's birthday next thursday..if he got no plans..den i think we shall have steamboat at home..wheeee! okay 3am...i blog more tomorrow if i am willing to make the effort..i'm off to bed now! wheeee!! can't wait to see the 3 girls!! *huggies* it always feels good when people still remember u though u seldom contact them anymore,and it feels even better when they still make the effort to call u out for lunch! ahh..i love u guys!!..

leave me out...

2004-08-15T04:26:00.000+08:00

went out with the girls just now to Oriel's to have coffee...and then to ivy's house...came home..my sis was on the computer..so i went to watch "Jiu Cheng Gao" vcds. i remember when i met Bryan on the day i went back...i told him i wanted to watch "Holland V" and he told me "Jiu Cheng Gao" is nice too..hmm..alright la...i'm up to disc 8..soon i'll be finished..so i was actually feeling quite okay and happy..until i logged on to gunbound..*sigh* went into the room where guowei,glitter and phoe was playing in..got to know from them that they are having a guild outing tomorrow...=( my mood sank..sigh..most of my guild members will be there...and i can't go!!! i want to go!!! i remember saying it before that we should have a guild outing one day..and here it goes..really happened so quickly and i can't be there...the next time i go back to singapore,i'm sure all of them won't be playing gunbound anymore..probably won't still be in contact with them..although it's just a game..a guild in a game..just random people we meet while playing but i really treated each and every of them as a real and good friend of mine..and yet i can't go!!! grrr.haiz...they will be going to Marina South for Steamboat...how i wish i can go...but i can't do anything about it either..just my luck to be overseas and all my friends are in singapore...i feel so sad...i feel so left out....

Superstars - Cry On My Shoulder

2004-08-11T14:36:00.000+08:00

i found a song yesterday..i love the lyrics..

If The Hero Never Comes To You
If You Need Someone,
You're Feeling Blue
If You Wait For Love,
And You're Alone
If You Call Your Friends,
Nobody's Home
You Can Run Away,
But You Can't Hide
Through a Storm And Through A Lonely Night
Then I'll Show You,
There's A Destiny
The Best Things In Life,
They Are Free

But If You Wanna Cry
Cry On My Shoulder
If You Need Someone,
Who Cares For You
If You're feeling sad
Your Heart Gets Colder
Yes I Show You What Real Love Can Do

If Your Sky Is Grey Oh Let Me Know
There's A Place In Heaven,
Where We'll Go
If Heaven Is A Million Years Away
Oh Just Call Me And I'll Make Your Day
When The Nights Are Getting Cold And Blue
When The Days Are Getting Hard For You
I Will Always Stay Here By Your Side
I Promise You, I'll Never Hide

But If You Wanna Cry
Cry On My Shoulder
If You Need Someone,
Who Cares For You
If You're feeling sad
Your Heart Gets Colder
Yes I Show You What Real Love Can Do

yeah..anybody wanna cry on my shoulder? ^.^ just knew yesterday that jer has a blog! so i added him as a link! heehee! visit his site if you're free...this dude going NS soon..jer ah! take care when u go in yea? we will miss you~ =P...and not forgetting a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dearest VON..hehee..hey girl..birthday lei..dun be so upset..cheer up a bit yea? this year he not free..den next yr? still many more to come ma..^.^ *hUggies* SmiLeeeeeeeee!

lazy bum..blog it!

2004-08-10T14:14:00.000+08:00

alo!!! finally i am making the effort to blog..muahhaa! kinda lazy sometimes..either i just dun feel like typing or i type halfway and decided to blog another day which never happens..hehehe! sooooo since the last time i blogged..a lot of things happen..i'm just glad misunderstandings between my good friends and i are all cleared now..ole! i went out last night with ken to cottlesloe beach to chill...he's leaving today..oh! he's flying in the air now..he going back to singapore to do his National Service..damn..gonna miss this friend of mine..no more chilling partner for now! won't be seeing him for 2 years *sobs*boo hoo hoo* anyway..we sat there watching the waves swish swish swooosh while smoking and talking! NICE! IM LOVIN IT! muahahha! i can't believe i can talk to this chap about anything man! god! anyway, we both set goals! we told each other 2 years later when he come back to perth,we WILL look different! we will lose weight and turn out to be another person,healthy and full of self esteem! muahaha! yea..kinda funny but that's what i'm gonna do do do do! eating very little nowadays..i dunno why..suddenly i just don't feel like eating anymore! isn't that goooooood?! and i'm doing exercise! lalala! i just blast my music in the room and start doing my aerobics..or maybe dance or jump around..making sure i sweat! OLE!!!! anyway..i hope u guys support me ok? i've to do it this time! motivate meeeeeeee!! lalalala! OLE OLE OLE!!!

i read my friends' blogs recently and some of them are just complaining about their other half treating them not as good as their friends' partners. it just makes me feel a little angry..hehehe! everyone sets themselves a perfect partner..he wants a girl who is caring,friendly,sexy,cute,slim,petite,big eyes,nice smile etc etc..the list goes on and on..she wants a guy who can treat her like a princess,suave,caring,brings her shopping and buying her whatever she wants. another one wants a guy who is tall,good looking,nice body,rich,good education background,drives a car,rich family background blahblahblah. i mean nobody is perfect man! you set yourself such a person who can never exists...(maybe in fairytales but fairytales do not exist in reality)! and start comparing with the person you're with now, and then complains that they are not good enough or they are not treating u good enough. but u have already decided to be with him/her, why do u only complain now? why would u go out with him in the first place if u gonna complain about this and that? why don't u look at it from another point of view? think of the things he/she has done for u in the past..i'm sure they have done nice things,spend good quality time with you, shared some memories with you. is it the looks,the money or the person you're going for? instead of comparing,why not try treasuring or comprimising or even looking at things from a different view? i've learnt from my past relationships...i've learnt to treasure someone more than anything...dun make things all so complicated...simple..and be happy..*sigh* why do i only learn now? it's all over but i'm moving...moving on..^.^ i will definitely treasure the next person who walks into my heart...not forgetting my dear friends and family too..heehee..oh THANKS to my Shihui who sent me a super big file that day..a video clip she took on fireworks,hoping it will cheer me up! OF COS U DID! i LOVE fireworks!! they're so pretty!! ehehe! thank u thank u thank u! *mUackz*

jason called me yesterday afternoon..it was fun..it's always full of laughter when we talk to each other...haha..he's still the same..forever making fun of me..forever trying to "suan" me..i left my msn on while i was on the phone with him..and my dear sister decided to talk to him on msn,putting random animal photos as my display pic..and they both started making fun of me when i'm not looking at the convo. e.g a penguin the phone picture..he says i look like the penguin..and then a cow..a doggy..an elephant..DOH! i'm glad this good friend of mine is moving on too...i dunno if he's really happy or just putting up a strong front when talking to me..but i just hope he can be happy..dun wish to see him get hurt..dun wish to hear him cry on the phone again...i just want him to be happy..real happy..=) hehe~ i guess he'll be fine..once he gets into uni..he will have girls all crawling to him..no problem! hohoho!...he's such a sweet friend man..he told me whatever i wan from singapore,like CDs or VCDs or anything, i can just tell him on a monthly basis and he will send it over to me..he even asked me to ask my mum what VCDs she wanna watch..ask me to ask my bro and sis too..i will just have to pay him the next time i go back to singapore..told him I'M NOT GOING BACK THEN! wahaha..my mum adores him..dun ask me why..i got no idea either...hohoho..every auntie adores him..geez! watched National Day Parade on the internet last night too..hmm..not bad..i like the colours...so much more colourful this year..but i still prefer last year's show..hee! anyway..Happy Birthday to Singapore for yesterday~ and to David and Muhai too! as for today..i just wanna say a big big HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY to my ELIZABETH a.k.a BIRD JIE a.k.a my best sister! so cool...known her for 7 years le..time flies...hope u have fun today ok? *huggies* ok..i think i blogged too much today..muahahahaa! see u guys! i'm off to gunbound..bb!

missing someone in my heart

2004-07-27T15:04:00.000+08:00

gunbound is down for maintenance again..sheesh..i'm so bored..>.< went out with ken last night to mill point to chill and also he wanted to borrow some gangster gangster hongkong movies from me..-.-" anyway..he came to pick me up in his vroom vroom car..the sound from the exhaust pipe was so deafening...hohoho..was at mill point smoking..oh oh i bought the wrong alpine ciggarettes..my god..they were so disgusting..even marlboro red is better..aww..i miss my vogue..>.< so we sit there talking and talking..went up to king's park later to show him where fraser restaurant is..wanted to bring him to the botanical gardens inside which has a very nice view..but but..hehehehehehe..we went so deep in..and it was so dark..so we decided to turn back..come another day..huahuahua! den he fetch me home..and i was stuck online again..andryan ask me to go ice skating today..it's a big nono..i hurt my wrist a few years ago..from falling down..no way am i hurting myself again..mum's feeling really really super duper stress recently..sigh..how i hope i can help...anyway..i wonder how is bryan..he seem to have disappeared..did his computer break down or something? he hasn't been checking his friendster either..weird..sms him the other day and there was no reply..where have u gone to? *sigh* suddenly i miss him again..=(

clap clap clap..

2004-07-26T00:32:00.000+08:00

hello! wow..i didn't immediately jump into gunbound today once i got online...*clap*clap* for eunice..heehee! let me think what have i done recently..other than gunbound..gunbound and gunbound..oh..i made sesame balls that day! i succeed! tasted so yummy! my brother ate like 4-5 balls! which means it's good stuff! lol..i took a photo of it..lolz..*thumbs up* for eunice!! clever girl..lol! my USB port is giving me problems! grrr! was playing on the webcam with jason that day and it decided to die on me..-.-" anyway..it was heaps of fun..he showed me his leg which was casted..lol..makes me feel like drawing on it..lol..and he showed me around his room..which is a total mess..-.-"..couldn't stop laughing at his spastic-ness with his stupid funny and act cute faces..god..feel like slapping him..lol.."unfortunately" he's my good friend..i can't slap him..^.^ damn it..was talking to him just now..but he decided to ditch me to catch up with his camp mate..idiotta! ~!@#$%^&*.

my sis borrowed videos yesterday..i watched the movie "Honey" today! *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* for that movie! the dance moves were just ooooohh lala!! jessica alba looks so pretty in that movie..anyway..it's just the whole dancing thing..it's all so bloody cool! i repeated the ending like 3 times just to watch them dance..lol..good stuff! and then i watched "How to deal" which features Mandy Moore..she's getting a lot of movies recently eh? but then again..her acting's not bad..and that guy in the movie! he's awesome! prefectly cute when he smiles! there's still "Brother Bear" and "Chasing Liberty" i haven't watch..gonna watch it tomorrow and then return them back to the video store..hohoho! hmmm..okok..i better go play some game now..i dunno what else to blog! bb! *waves*

yay! internet's back!

2004-07-22T12:36:00.000+08:00

12:34pm

whee! my internet is back after 2 days!! it got suspended cos my mum forgot to pay the bill..was so bored the past 2 days!! my sis and i finished watching a set of vcds "Ma La Xian Shi". My brother settled his boredom by watching "Huan Zhu Ge Ge 3" with my mum. Can't believe he didn't go crazy, instead he sat there and watch through the night. rox man! my sis and i decided to play Wheel Of Fortune on the computer last night. i went bankrupt twice! booo!! then she moved on to playing Theme Hospital,where she happily bop up and down listening to the jukebox. -.-" haha..told her the code to cheat money! hohoo! i still remember it after so many many years! she had like over a million dollars and of cos she has the richest hospital then! duh..anyway steph if u need it..it's "24328" and then click on the green button on the fax machine..listen to the "brrrr rrrriinngg" sound then it's done! to cheat press on shift + c. sheesh..why am i telling u all these now? u're on ur way to brisbane tonight..doh!

justin arrived in perth on monday!! called me last night..whee! talk to him on the phone for about 20 minutes then his housemate ask him to go eat dinner. looks like he's settling in pretty well. gonna go meet him maybe next week,after he got everything done and settled! heehee! promised to bring him around! he's starting school soon..muhahahahaaa! anyway..i am thinking of taking up a cleaner's job. i saw the ad in the newspaper and it's $15/hour. high pay but hard work..but then no pain no gain..8am - 5pm..zzzz! machiam National Service! anyway..think think think! gtg now! mum's bringing us out for dim sum! yummmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!

has things changed?

2004-07-13T16:19:00.000+08:00

gunbound's down..so i finally got some time to blog something down..been sleeping late the past few days..yeap gunbound..helping dennis earn gp so he can promote soon too..wand eh! so tired...but it's cool..next will be helping shaun..=)..

went out with the girls on sunday night..well..i'm glad to see them all again..but maybe i haven't been hanging out much with them..i feel out of place..i kept quiet most of the time thoughout the night..cos i really dunno what to say or talk about..i really got no idea what are they talking about either..it made me really sad...feels like i dun really belong there anymore..they all seem to have grown so close to each other..makes me feel like i'm invading their territory..but what can i expect? it's me who hasn't been going out with them..so i can't really complain if i drifted apart from them..they did make the effort to call me everytime they go out..but i kept rejecting. i juz dunno what am i expecting? what am i wishing for to happen? why do i still think i can be as close to them as before? i'm just dreaming...can't really talk...can't really share..just keeping it all to myself..me myself and i...hide my unhappiness from everyone..i know they all still treats me as a friend of theirs..i do too..but i just feel that i really dun belong there anymore...sad...really sad....=~~~ things have change...

it's been a long time since i last exercised..so i did a 30-minute exercise yesterday which consists of jumping,jogging,sit-ups etc at home..and the sit-ups really got me today..my ab muscles are hurting today..good job...exercise is good..so i didn't take up the job at the lan shop..the pay was too low..and my mum said so too.gotta go look for job soon..but i'm so lazy to go alone..=/..i don't have the motivation to do anything at all..juz rotting away..living in my own world...blahblahblah...

geez..rude boy detected...

2004-07-05T19:28:00.001+08:00

hello hello..gunbound's down till 11pm..got time to blog now since my sister is washing the dishes. she just showed me a conversation she had with one of her "FRIEND". fucking asshole..hmm..i know i shouldn't get involved or comment on anything since they are still like at a young age of 14 and 16. but that fucking 16 year old boy should have some manners. how dare he fucking criticise my sister! calling her fat and stuff..fuck u..u're ugly..lolz..i've been through this stage of my life before. getting criticized by people all the time BUT i'm glad my sis is a much stronger person than i am. anyway, that guy should just get really get criticized badly one day so he knows how it feels. people are just so shallow. god..one day they will turn ugly and get rejected and teased at..and i will be more than happy to congratulate them. ^.^ heehee! i'm so mean..BUT who cares! poor sister..being accused and maligned for things she hasn't done at all.she's losing some friends just cos of a girl who used to be her best friend. and because that girl's prettier she gets all the attention and get all people to side her,other people's misery is her happiness. HAH! one day...one day..hehehe! luckily, my sis is a strong person. really so proud of her. she sticks to her beliefs and doesn't stoop down low to get attention from others. my lovely cute little sister..hahaha! ok..i'm getting over protective..lalala..

okok..down to me! geez! so i went for the interview today..the lan shop one..didn't noe where it is..so i dragged ken to come along with me so he can look out for me where it is. thanx ken! next time treat u coffee ok? haha! sorry ah..make u wait so long..anyway..guess what! i mean okay..they looking for afternoon shifts workers..i'm fine with that..but the pay's way way pathetic...GOSHHH!! it's like $6/hour! it's stupid..that's a standard pay for a normal 15 year old working. first 3 days will be probation days..and it's half pay..which makes it a "wonderful" pay of $3/hour. my ass!! grrr..i dunno if i want to take it..it's for the weekends..hmmm..should i should i?? oh..and i will have to wash the toilets sometimes as well..oh fuk it..$6..GOD!! PATHETIC!! okay my sister's back..blog later..

i miss you....

2004-07-01T00:46:00.000+08:00

mum asked me last night if bryan still calls me or find me..i said no..he doesn't call me anymore and we seldom talk..i felt a wave of sadness when i talk about him..thus i miss him so much today...the memories keep coming back...i dunno is it me or what..so many things i do today links to him..*sigh* saw the disney on ice "Beauty & the Beast" advertisement on tv today..i felt so sad...it was in singapore when i went back the last trip and he was planning to take me there to watch it together, cos he knows i love "Beauty and the Beast" a lot. it was in march..and i had to come back to aussie so we didn't get to watch it together. i was watching tv in my sister's room today and i thought of us. we used to cuddle each other while watching tv or vcds at my house. was talking to hippo today and he was talking about if he has a gf he would rather spend time at home with his gf..watching vcds,cook etc etc. bryan and i spent so much time at home, our memories mostly come from my house,maybe that's why i'm missing him so much now.

i sms-ed him this afternoon but he didn't reply.yeah..i'm disappointed...i just dunno why don't we talk anymore...i hope i can still talk to him like how we used to..he was always there for me..listening to my problems and sadness,though he doesn't noe how to comfort me.he was always supporting me.i felt so connected to him...he can feel if i'm sad or happy even when i dun mention anything.i have never felt so close to anyone before..now i can't even talk to him as a friend anymore..my heart aches..aches so badly my tears can't stop rolling for a while..sometimes i really wish we can try again...wish that we can love each other again..but i know i'm wishing for something that won't come true anymore. i am moving on..but not as fast as i thought i would. missing someone u loved so dearly is unavoidable....he will always have a place in my heart...always will...in the past,present and future.though we don't really talk anymore, i hope he's doing fine.i hope he's still taking good care of himself,still smiling everyday so that girls can fall in love with his smile that makes him look so cute. he certainly deserve someone better than me..someone who can be by his side always..making him happy and not someone who is like a hundred thousand miles away from him. it's just too torturing for him. he deserves a better first love. Other girls can now know how great a boyfriend he is and treasure him better. 1st july..time flies..we broke up for a month already. i really wish him all the best..=)

okay, i better move on to other things before i start crying again. mum suggested to me last week about studying real estate since i'm doing nothing now. good suggestion! it's just 4 weeks and i will have a licence of a real estate agent. ^.^ since my uncle would be opening his own real estate company in the next few years, i can work there too. cool shit. but it all comes down to money matters. $700+. but i find it really a good suggestion. i wan to study...anything would be fine! i wan something to do rather than rotting at home everyday. work work work!!! gotta go to Auntie Cindy's tomorrow to cut my hair since it's getting long and out of shape and then maybe dye my hair on friday..the girls are coming back tomorrow unless they extend their trip.oh the pics i said i would upload..errr..my infrared is giving me problems..i try again tomorrow..soccer tonight..portugal vs holland. portugal will sure win but i'm gonna support holland cos my ruud van nistelrooy is in that team..if he's not playing..then i will go for portugal.^.^ ok i gotta go now..gunbound is down so i decided to entertain myself with a new game "Survival Project" for the time being..see u guys..*muackz*

my new home..ahhh...

2004-06-29T23:12:00.000+08:00

cool shit!! haha..i've moved and i've changed the template!! was actually deciding to customized my own template with some originality BUT i lack of skills. =( anyway..was browsing through blogskins today and this skin really caught my eye!! i'm lovin it! i'm just trying to occupy myself u see? since gunbound has been down for 4 days!!! oh my god i'm so freaking bored..hehee! wanted to play scrabble with dennis..but his computer a bit "sot" today..anyway i'm lovin this!

past few days were spent experimenting on making desserts and cooking. hoho! anyway, while the girls were out and i couldn't tag along. mum and i decided to make chendol,jiu cheng gao ( that 9 layers thingy) and tao huey. and i also cooked vegetable curry for the first time! everything was a success except the tao huey! it shud have turn out a little solid but it turned out like soup! *slurp* anyway..and my chendol. it turned out to be round instead of the usual thin and long ones. but it's still edible! mixing it with the syrup and coconut milk! it tastes just like the chendol u get from outside. yum! the jiu cheng gao turn out great. mum and i just took out whatever colouring we got and mixed the colours up. in the end, we got super bright colours. haaha! but the taste is still there. i took photos of what we made so i'll be posting them up probably tomorrow. DUN laugh at me! heehee! =P

the girls went down south yesterday..must be having fun..how i wished i can go..=( but i can't.oh well..oh oH! i called up the owner of that lan shop this morning and i think..i THINK i woke him up from his sleep. =X i'm sorry..i didn't mean to wake u up. but it was like almost 11am!! okok..anyway he sounded really sleepy. i asked if he's still looking for workers he said yeah and i asked if i can make an appointment to see him. he said no problem,wednesday should be fine. so i asked him what time..he told me he anytime..then he said dunnoe then he asked me what time am i free..-.-" i said anytime and he say he will call me back. as i said!! i think he's sleepy cos he didn't asked for my number. i called him using a private number. lolz..i onli realised that in the afternoon too! so i sms-ed him. i think i lost the job...=( he didn't call me and tomorrow is wednesday. anyway..i'm keeping my fingers crossed.

mum's friend was looking for workers too at her fish'n'chips store, so she brought me down last friday to take a look at it. hmm it's down at east perth,quite a distance to drive too. the pay is $8/hour. not even my minimum wage yet mr and mrs! and if i have to drive that distance to and fro..the petrol price is gonna take up half my pay. SO! i'm still considering.. =DD uh oh! hippo need help, messaging me on msn now! gotta go! see ya guys! bb!