shifted..i'm packing my bag and leave this blogging ground..leaving this world...

Tear drop 6/16/2005 07:21:00 pm of Eunice

i have just fuck up my life and lost the people who are important to me..people who walk through different phases of my life with me for the past few years..sometimes i really wanna bang my head against the hard wall and wake myself up. i just dunno what am i doing anymore..he's driving me crazy..i lost my mind and all my senses. Why can't i just forget you and wipe u off my mind! why do u keep appearing! i feel like killing myself now. At least that way i dont have to live in agony everytime u come into my mind..i know u're happy now..looking so much happier than before. i should be happy for you right? but i can't stop thinking about the past. why..why...why..why did u cast a spell on me that i can't get rid of!! Because of you, i've been struggling to find myself again..been struggling to pick myself up and walk on..someone just kill me now or brainwash me..i dun wanna be reminded of the past anymore..i just wanna get rid of the pain inside me....i miss him

Tear drop 5/15/2005 03:02:00 am of Eunice

At this very minute~~

someone is thinking of you
someone cares about you.
someone misses you
someone wants to hold your hand.
someone wants you to be happy.
someone wants to hug you.
someone will do anything for you.
someone needs to know your love is unconditional.
someone wants to tell you how much they care.
someone wants to stay up watching movies with you.
someone wants to hold you in their arms.
someone wants to see you.
someone wants to be your lover.
someone loves you for who you are.
someone loves the way you make them feel.
someone wants to be with you.
someone wants you to know they are there for you.
someone is glad that you're their friend.
someone is wishing you would notice them.
someone wants to get to know you better.
someone loves you.

True? Believe? Sweet? HAHA! my ass..*pigu*

Tear drop 5/06/2005 03:12:00 pm of Eunice

screwed up..everything is screwed up...i have no mood to blog...lots of things have happened but i think i shouldn't say it here...probably not gonna blog here anymore and shift to a private blog...no comments no comments...im just utterly disappointed...oh well..i'm better off alone..keep in touch in msn peeps..

Tear drop 4/03/2005 09:48:00 pm of Eunice

okie since my last blog entry,i've been more than fine.some people dicks should be cut off into pieces. or maybe their necks ought to be snap. BAH .anyway..what happened recently? oo..i'm kinda sad that tristan has left,won't be working at subway anymore with us. i'm gonna miss him so badly. no one to push me around at work jokingly, no one to do stupid acts in front of me, no one to joke around with me. he's the closest colleague i have at work. he's always around to help me, making sure i can go home on time. ahhh..i miss him..work is not that fun without him anymore. luckily, there's still scott and alec and ben. i wonder what am i going to do if they leave too..i might as well not work. muhahaa..it's the people there that makes working so fun for everyone. and i'm officially off my P plate =D no more probation driver licence shit. wheee!

ok next next. i receive a valentine's day present from david on friday. hee..i'm actually pretty shocked he send something to me. i mean he said he's sending something but i didn't really believe him, until my mum pass me a card that day saying i got a registered mail at the post office. soooo, i went to the post office to retrieve the parcel. at first, i thought it will be a just a small box. but it turned out to be a Size 5 box. so big, it was so embarrassing carrying it to my car and there were like people walking around. i read the box and it was really david who sent it. went home, quickly go up to my room and opened it. in there, a big big winnie the pooh wrapped up in a plastic wrapping paper inside a big plastic bag.I was shocked at the size of it and also how he still remembers i like winnie the pooh. haaaaa...i was super happy. it's so nice to hug! muahaaha..i admit i'm really touched. over the last few months, we have been contacting each other and he did ask if i can be his girl. but i said it's been years since we were together. and we had some quarrels and i really sometimes don't believe the things u say. (a bit harsh i know) and i told him..the things u're telling me now are just words, and to me, actions speak louder than words. so he said "okay, i will use actions to prove to you.i will keep my promises and be committed to you." blahblahblah..he's been sms-ing me everyday..and calling me a few times a week etc etc..dunno la! but the thing he sent must have cost him quite a lot. the pooh bear was bought from disney and i think it costs around $ 50 - $60. and then he sent it through speed post as well. postage alone cost around $44, and he still have to buy the size 5 box. muahahaa..so total should be around $100 plus.hohoho~ den i told him, i haven't seen him for a long time too, maybe it doesn't seem right anymore. i'm just insecure about the whole thing. the next hour or so, he told me he bought a webcam and is on his way back. he said "lidat u can see me loh..den u won't feel insecure or anything that's making u doubt me" i'm touched laaaaa but i cannot fall for him first..advice from steph: "dun yi shen xiang xu pls charbor.." advice from zhang hui: : "play along with him first la..dun fall in love with him so fast." and another thing steph said : "eh..wa..buy u pooh bear..ask him for an air ticket back to singapore la.." i told her give me two months then i request for one. huahuaha...jokingggggggggg...=P

okieeee..i went to the casino reluctantly last night cos i'm having my period and i don't really wanna walk around too much. BUT i'm so happy i went. i was playing on the jackpot machine with my mum, one machine each la. i put in $50 at first, was playing playing playing..won $40 already very happy den i decided to double my bet so it's $2.50 each time i press the button. first game didn't get anything..second time..wa!!! winn!! see the credits keep going up ..wOOt! shocked !! from $50 to $502.35. i won $450!! wahaha..i was so stunned. turned around and i see people standing around me. it felt like a dream. haha..quickly retrieve my receipt thingy from the attendant and stopped playing on the machine. wahahah! den i gave my mum $100, and went to play on rapid roulette. lost $50! *cries* but nvm nvm..i still win $300! wahah..treat my mum supper after casino. went to city garden to eat. wahhh! the chilli and salt intestines are farking good. crunchy on the outside,soft on the inside. wOOt!! couldn't stop eating. wahhaa..thanks to my beloved mummy.she said she wanted to go casino but i say i dun wan, den she say she go alone. But i couldn't let her go alone due to her physical conditions. so i went along. muhaha..thanks mummy! i love youuuu hehehehe! okie i better be off. off to dye my hair den prepare to go out tonight. muhaha!

Tear drop 2/20/2005 05:32:00 pm of Eunice

I received a message on msn yesterday which really tore me apart.Nick's brother messaged me on msn and told me Nick passed away.I didn't wanna believe,I thought he was just kidding me. But i got worried.Nick passed away 4 days ago due to some sickness. He has had it for quite some time already but he never told me, he never told anyone. It's all so sudden. I just talked to him last friday and he insisted on leaving me,giving me stupid reasons and telling me he has his own reasons of doing this.So I respect his decision and let him go.I remember being very angry at him, I hung up on him and didn't want to talk to him anymore.But just a few days later,he's gone.G-O-N-E forever.I called his mobile several times but nobody answered or it was off. I can't make a trip down to malaysia now either.I will never get to hear his voice again,never get to hear him sing to me again.Why didn't he just tell me he's sick that night? Why did he have to give me so many stupid reasons? Why didn't i realise that he has been sick for so long? Why did i hang up on him? I kept calling and wished he would just answer his phone,telling me that he's playing a prank on me.He used to make me panic and worry for him,just for the fun of it.But now i wish he really is playing.I dunno what to say.It all just happened so suddenly.All the webcam memories and conversations we had all juz came flowing back,I kept listening to the songs we shared,fighting back my tears trying to smile and live normally cos I know he wouldn't want me to be sad for him.I must be strong,I cannot cry.But i miss him dearly...he was my best friend,my good friend.He taught me how to be understanding girlfriend to guys and taught me how to compromise in a relationship.But why did he have to go? He was such a talented young man,he was a chinese doctor who has always put his work first before everything.He's always thinking of ways to build a better life in future for himself.He even thought of going to UK in future years when his business is stable.And he's suppose to come and visit me in 3 months time.He still got so many things he hasn't done yet,how can he just leave like that..I will always remember him,always have him in my heart and i wish i can tell him "I love you" now...miss you Nick..I will be strong..May You Rest In Peace. You will always be remembered by everyone.


Remember Me This Way Lyrics from Jordan Hill

Every now and then
We find a special friend
who never lets us down...

Who understands it all
reaches out each time we fall
you're the best friend i have found...

I know you can't stay
a part of you will never ever go away
your heart will stay.....

I'll make a wish for you,
and hope it will come true,
if life will just be kind,
to such a gentle mind,
if you lose your way,
think back on yesturday
remember me this way,
remember me this way.

I don't need eyes to see
the love you bring to me,
no matter where I go
and I know that you'll be there
forever-more a part of me and everywhere
I'll always care.....

I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true,
if life will just be kind,
to such a gentle mind,
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way,
remember me this way.

and I'll be right behind your shoulder,watching you
I'll be standing by your side, all you do
and I won't ever leave
as long as you believe,
you just believe....

I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true
if life will just be kind
to such a gentle mind
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way
remember me this way.
o.....
this way.

Tear drop 2/05/2005 01:03:00 pm of Eunice

Saw in the herald newspaper the other day that North Lake Senior Campus is offering Human Biology night class,so i decided to take some night class to help out my Human Biology unit in university.Afterall, i needed some background or foundation of Human Biology so i won't be struggling too much in university this year since it's my weakest subject.I had an appointment with one of the student advisor yesterday morning. Had a chat with him and he said what i really need probably is the Year 11 Human Biology which they only offer during day time which also means i won't be able to make it cos i got uni to go to.Then he recommend me to Tuart College or Canning College.Yes! Canning College my old school,miss that school heaps! I came home and called up Canning and asked and i got a positive answer,they do offer Year 11 Human Biology during night class,so i made an appointment with them and was so happy.I GOT HOPE!! UNTIL...i went there today and they told me it was cancelled due to the lack of students, only 4 people signed up and they needed 12 to run the program.Hopes shattered.heehee..but she was nice,she called up Tuart College and asked but they don't, they only run Physical Science which i don't need to learn about. BAH i thought to myself. But she sent me to go talk to the Human Biology teachers at Canning College.They advised me to take the Year 12 Human Biology cos it will still benefit me in some way.And she also mentioned if i have problems at University, i can always go to them or the learning centre where there are always teachers on duty to help students out.Good Point! so i signed up and the lesson starts this wednesday.It runs once a week, every Wednesday from 6pm - 10pm. 4 long hours man..sheeesh! Met a few of my ex-teachers when i was doing Year 12 at Canning College. They all still recognise me,wahaha..kinda embarrassing in a way.They all thought i failed my TEE and came back for more. LOL! I saw Keith Peterson, my Chemistry teacher, when i walked in the door and he waved at me. I went red. Then i walked further in and saw Bill Purcell ( A.Maths) and David Mahar (Chemistry) and Maria (Calculus). I was even more embarrassed. David Mahar asked me what am i doing here,explained to him blahblahblah and i had to explain the same thing to Bill as well. Then! I saw my Economics teacher (Loretta Mcwhae),she was the one who spotted me and waved to me.She kinda talked to me from quite a distance. She started off with " YOU'RE BACK! ECONOMICS??!?" then i was like " Noooo..i'm already in university" She gave me a weird look and ask "What are you doing here then!?" so i had to repeat everything again to her. lolx. I had a chat with her and thanked her for helping me out so much in Year 12. I improved from a results of 35% (D) the year before to a result of 76% (A). It was all of her wonderful teaching. So i kept saying thank you to her and told her my results.She was really happy for me. I miss those teachers man. heehee! so yeah, and another good thing about studying at Canning College would be getting a Canning College Parking Ticket. I get to park at Canning College and walk to Curtin.Mauahaha! No more looking for parking lots at Curtin. But then again, i would have to walk a huge distance to my block. Oh well. heehee! I have officially quit smoking! have been off cigarettes for the past two weeks. heehee..i mean i quit smoking but i will still smoke like 1 or 2 sticks in a while if i'm with friends.No more smoking a whole packet. =D..good job eunice been having problems with Nick recently. Hope we can sort things out soon and get the sadness out of my head. Can't stop thinking about it. Oh well..i'm off to sms him now. See u guys. I suddenly got an urge to walk into a 7-11 store and hear the "Ding Dong" sound. Hope i can save enough money to go back singapore soon. I miss my Bird jie and my other sisters, and my friends here and there. Ah! Can't wait to hug u guys. Ok.I better be off now.

Tear drop 1/28/2005 10:47:00 pm of Eunice